


he didn't love me

by joshurideul



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, booseoksoon are bffs, im sorry, squint and u see jeonghan and mingyu, wonwoo's mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:14:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23923681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshurideul/pseuds/joshurideul
Summary: seokmin doesn't remember a time when he didn't love joshua.
Relationships: Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	he didn't love me

**Author's Note:**

> this is my very first fic so i hope u enjoy it! also if it wasn't obvious this is inspired by dk's cover of "she didn't love me". when i heard it and read the lyrics i cried, so i suggest listening 2 it while reading this.

it was a bright and sunny morning, the summer sun hitting seokmin's face beautifully. the light makes him blink awake, only to face the empty space on his bed. as usual. 

joshua was busy with work (and only work, seokmin liked to think), and he hadn't been seeing seokmin as much these past few days (maybe even months, but he didn't want to think about it). so he sighs and gets out of bed, starting the day without joshua and ending it without him. 

# 

soonyoung and seungkwan insisted that they get drunk one night. all of them had low tolerance level and it would be complete chaos if all of them got drunk, so seokmin offered that he would be the dd for his two very annoying friends. he did, however, drink a few shots before they left the bar.

he doesn't know why, but he finds himself in front of joshua's apartment, after dropping off a very drunk soonyoung and seungkwan to their apartment. he thinks it must be the alcohol taking over, because he knocks loudly at his door. 

he thinks that they should talk. that they should look at each other in the eye, because they haven't done that in a long time. he thinks that maybe he should spend the night, and maybe try to fix the relationship that's falling apart right in front of him. 

he makes the mistake of knocking on his door. because in front of him, is a beautiful blonde man, who is half naked, asking who they were looking for. and behind him, was joshua's bedroom, and he hears him call out, "babe, who is that?". 

now, he thinks that maybe he's the one to fall apart. 

# 

he drives home, crying. he'd become suspicious every few times for the past few months, but even with just one text from joshua, he pushes and buries the thought on the back of his head, and thinks that he'll never have to think of it again, because he is so madly whipped for the older boy. 

he just wishes that he told him. that he was seeing someone new, someone prettier, someone better. he starts sobbing again. what happened to the relationship they had? what happened to all the beautiful moments that they cherished. that seokmin treasured. what happened? 

the stop light was shining brightly. seokmin had time to cry and drown in his tears and self-pity. joshua had always been his rock, he had always been his only love. he never thought of them breaking apart. never thought of them finding happiness in another person's arms. seokmin thought wrong. 

he wonders if this is making joshua happy, lying to him. making him feel more miserable and insecure than he already is. but he just couldn't hate him. he was to weak for him, he always has been. he looks over his phone that was vibrating, notifications popping every once in a while. 

he swears he sees joshua's name through his blurry and wet eyes. and he swears that he can see an 'i'm sorry' from him. but he decides to look away. he feels numb, he just wants to go away, and maybe never face the earth again. 

the traffic lights turn green. he closes his eyes and sighs before his car starts moving again.

#

he feels numb, once again. he blinks his eyes slowly and he can feel the pain coming from his head. weird, he thinks. why is everything spinning? he swears that he didn't get drunk. he even drove his friends home without any problem. but why is his head painfully throbbing? 

that's when he licks his lips. it tasted like iron. seokmin is confused. he lifts his arm weakly and rubs his lips. he sees it, blood. and that's when he hears the faint wailing of sirens near him. 

he looks around, his eyes not fully open, but enough to see the damage surrounding him. it clicks, his head hurt more, bled more. the green that shone in the night. the smooth moving of his car. the sudden crash onto his side by something so strong and fast. the spinning of his car. the darkness. 

"sir," a faint voice calls him. "sir, we're going to do anything that we can to get you out of there, okay?" 

seokmin can see him. he's a tall man, his quite tanned skin glowing in the light of the night, his worried stare at him. but he's upside down. then he realizes that he, too, is upside down. and so was his car. 

he suddenly gets sleepy. he tries his best to blink awake, and it just takes him back to the times he would wake up with joshua in his arms. that beautiful smile. those deep eyes that he could swim in for years. he chuckles softly. he should've felt the pain in his stomach, since it was stabbed by a gigantic shard of glass from his car's window. but he didn't. he feels numb. and he thinks that it's okay. 

he remembers the theory that wonwoo had told him. that the best memory you've had in your whole life would be the last thing you see when you die. and he sees joshua's smile after their first kiss. he smiles, and the darkness takes him.

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry. pls leave some love :D


End file.
